In life it is important to identify your strengths and weaknesses. This is key to growing. Many of us know what our strengths and weaknesses are subconsciously, we have just never identified them. For example, you may know that you are very good at dealing with people in management when their is a problem. Because of your strength in this category, using wordplay, grammar articulation and a balance of respect, charm, and stern words, you understand you will more than likely get what you want in that particular situation and easily resolve the problem. However, your best-friend or mate may be the opposite. He or she may be too aggressive and create a scene when their is a problem in a restaurant and/or hotel and become very combative and attacking for something very small, which balloons the problem and makes for a very uncomfortable situation. This is where knowing your strengths and weaknesses is very important.
In 'Relationships' part 1, I talked about people who give too much in their relationships, and people who take too much in their relationships -- the giving and taking spirits. Both of these personality types create an imbalance with the consistency of their actions over time if partnered with the wrong person. Paying attention to your past relationships and your current one, if you are in one, will tell if you are one of these two personality types. You may not want to take the time to see if you identify with one or the other, but you must do-so in an effort to grow and mature.
Let's start with the first one, the 'taking spirirt.' If you have a 'taking spirit', you will drain people in the relationships you see that they have things that you can take from. This one takes true honesty with yourself, your needs and actions, and a lot of questions that must be asked to others as well by you. The 'taking spirit' lives in a place of making themselves feel safe by being the constant receiver in their relationships, but they are never truly comfortable. How? Because they are constantly taking and/or receiving to feel good about themselves, not just randomly receiving from their mate or friend. It is a conscious effort to gain or take from 'the giver.' If this is you -- asking for things from people as much as possible does not bother you. The more someone will give to you, the more you will latch onto them, because you have found your source -- 'the giver.'
You may like 'the giver' in the beginning of the relationship because they give you their time, food, money, ear, gifts, personal items, ideas, etc., whenever you ask them -- but you will lose respect for 'the giver' eventually. Sometimes you will even become disgusted with the giver and not even know why. This is because your taking spirit has taken so much from 'the giver' they have literally shrank in size over time, and their isn't much you can take from their box anymore. You begin to find them worthless now because they cannot keep up with your appetite or give "you" what you want anymore. You have gained a full stomach from everything you have taken from them. Their confidence, ideas, time, money, and whatever else you could get from them is all yours now. It has become a one-way street due to your insatiable appetite. The imbalance has kicked-in. 'The giver' does not know how to say no to your unrelenting desires and needs, and you do not know how to stop taking from a well that is so easy to take from and control. So you become a nonstop taker, looking to see what else you can get from 'the giver' -- which creates a severe imbalance in the realtionship.
'The giver' is a great mate, but they do not know how to say no to someone they are in a relationship with, be it a friend or mate. The 'taking spirit' realizes who you are once you do what they ask you to do multiple times. They start to realize they can get whatever they want from you. This is when they will start to put responsibilities on you that are supposed to be theirs. But since you do not say no to much at all, they start unloading as much of their weight on you to gain freedom from the stress they created from their bad decisions or lack of maturity. When they do this to you, they are taking your time from you. The time they take from you is in exchange for their stress of that job or responsibility they have. They will ask you to do things that only pertain to improving themselves -- not you. The more you give to the 'taking spirit,' the more you will end up losing what you had before you met them. They will casually place their stress and load onto you over time because you do not know how to say no and make sure you are taken care of first. You have never learned how to take care of you first and it shows in your relationships.
If you are 'the giver' you do not know how to build yourself in a relationship, you just know how to build another. The 'taking spirit' loves this about you, because you want to give to the person and so does the person you are with. You feel drained, used, and stuck at some point in most of your relationships, because you keep being in relationships with takers. The giving and taking spirits are attracted because you love to give and they love to take and control. These two will be magnetically attracted, until the 'the giver' realizes who they are and learns to say no, and make decisions based upon how it will affect themselves in the future, and not always thinking .. what will happen if I say no? This has to do with learning your strengths and weaknesses. Your strength is giving, which is a blessing. Your weakness is that you do not know how to say no, and that is very dangerous and can be destructive to you. When the 'taking spirit' has taken your time, money, strength, peace, ideas, and whatever they can get, you will realize how stressed and confused your life has become. It is because the 'taking spirit' has placed all of their bad stuff on you in exchange for your good stuff. When this happens you will become stressed, and they will become relieved.
It is very hard for 'the giver' to leave, divorce, or break-up with the 'taking spirit' once they take your strength and/or place a lot of their responsibilities on you. The taking spirit takes your strength and places a load on you that disallows you to be able to leave. If you are 'the giver' they will fight to keep you around because you are their source of peace and stability. They will make you feel guilty to leave. This is done to you because they know without you they are not who they seem to be. Fear and guilt will be their weapon of choice so you do not leave them. This is not a healthy relationship. It is actually a form of abuse. 'The giver' usually feels trapped and confused at this point. The 'taking spirit' has found their victim and through crafty moves and guilt over time took the majority of the things you came into the relationship with. It is all by design once he/she was able to identify who you are -- 'the giver.' Before you know it, the most important thing you need to get out of a bad relationship has been taken too -- your strength. They know if they can keep strength from you moving forward, they can keep their new position of power over you.
If you are 'the giver' you are probably hearing a repetitive story of your life, unless you have given into good soil. Remember, the Bible says, in Luke 6:38, "Give and it shall be given unto you.." This is one of the most important things to a relationship. It also says in the bible in Matthew 13:8 to give into 'good soil' and you will receive a thirty, sixty, or hundredfold on your giving. If you are not giving into a person of good soil, you will continuously feel unfulfilled or empty in your relationships. Good soil should be your theme when looking for a mate. Ask yourself, is she or he good soil to pour my love, money, time, energy and all that I have into? This should make you think. The 'taking spirit' is not good soil. You will not get a return on your giving to this person.
Don't rush, time is valuable and you cannot get it back. Relationships are serious. You can get entangled badly in the wrong one if you do not do your due diligence. You may have already experienced a bad relationship in the past and know this, due to not getting to know the person better before you moved forward. Their should be more questions asked, and patience in moving forward to the next stage in friendships and serious relationships. If the person is meant to be a close friend or your future husband or wife, it will be worth the waiting process.
Learn your strengths and weaknesses, and make your decisions based upon them. You will grow, mature, and gain a life full of better relationships. Just like God designed you to have. Involve God more in your choices. Pray about the people you meet. Your life will be remarkably better if you do.
In 'Relationships' part 1, I talked about people who give too much in their relationships, and people who take too much in their relationships -- the giving and taking spirits. Both of these personality types create an imbalance with the consistency of their actions over time if partnered with the wrong person. Paying attention to your past relationships and your current one, if you are in one, will tell if you are one of these two personality types. You may not want to take the time to see if you identify with one or the other, but you must do-so in an effort to grow and mature.
Let's start with the first one, the 'taking spirirt.' If you have a 'taking spirit', you will drain people in the relationships you see that they have things that you can take from. This one takes true honesty with yourself, your needs and actions, and a lot of questions that must be asked to others as well by you. The 'taking spirit' lives in a place of making themselves feel safe by being the constant receiver in their relationships, but they are never truly comfortable. How? Because they are constantly taking and/or receiving to feel good about themselves, not just randomly receiving from their mate or friend. It is a conscious effort to gain or take from 'the giver.' If this is you -- asking for things from people as much as possible does not bother you. The more someone will give to you, the more you will latch onto them, because you have found your source -- 'the giver.'
You may like 'the giver' in the beginning of the relationship because they give you their time, food, money, ear, gifts, personal items, ideas, etc., whenever you ask them -- but you will lose respect for 'the giver' eventually. Sometimes you will even become disgusted with the giver and not even know why. This is because your taking spirit has taken so much from 'the giver' they have literally shrank in size over time, and their isn't much you can take from their box anymore. You begin to find them worthless now because they cannot keep up with your appetite or give "you" what you want anymore. You have gained a full stomach from everything you have taken from them. Their confidence, ideas, time, money, and whatever else you could get from them is all yours now. It has become a one-way street due to your insatiable appetite. The imbalance has kicked-in. 'The giver' does not know how to say no to your unrelenting desires and needs, and you do not know how to stop taking from a well that is so easy to take from and control. So you become a nonstop taker, looking to see what else you can get from 'the giver' -- which creates a severe imbalance in the realtionship.
'The giver' is a great mate, but they do not know how to say no to someone they are in a relationship with, be it a friend or mate. The 'taking spirit' realizes who you are once you do what they ask you to do multiple times. They start to realize they can get whatever they want from you. This is when they will start to put responsibilities on you that are supposed to be theirs. But since you do not say no to much at all, they start unloading as much of their weight on you to gain freedom from the stress they created from their bad decisions or lack of maturity. When they do this to you, they are taking your time from you. The time they take from you is in exchange for their stress of that job or responsibility they have. They will ask you to do things that only pertain to improving themselves -- not you. The more you give to the 'taking spirit,' the more you will end up losing what you had before you met them. They will casually place their stress and load onto you over time because you do not know how to say no and make sure you are taken care of first. You have never learned how to take care of you first and it shows in your relationships.
If you are 'the giver' you do not know how to build yourself in a relationship, you just know how to build another. The 'taking spirit' loves this about you, because you want to give to the person and so does the person you are with. You feel drained, used, and stuck at some point in most of your relationships, because you keep being in relationships with takers. The giving and taking spirits are attracted because you love to give and they love to take and control. These two will be magnetically attracted, until the 'the giver' realizes who they are and learns to say no, and make decisions based upon how it will affect themselves in the future, and not always thinking .. what will happen if I say no? This has to do with learning your strengths and weaknesses. Your strength is giving, which is a blessing. Your weakness is that you do not know how to say no, and that is very dangerous and can be destructive to you. When the 'taking spirit' has taken your time, money, strength, peace, ideas, and whatever they can get, you will realize how stressed and confused your life has become. It is because the 'taking spirit' has placed all of their bad stuff on you in exchange for your good stuff. When this happens you will become stressed, and they will become relieved.
It is very hard for 'the giver' to leave, divorce, or break-up with the 'taking spirit' once they take your strength and/or place a lot of their responsibilities on you. The taking spirit takes your strength and places a load on you that disallows you to be able to leave. If you are 'the giver' they will fight to keep you around because you are their source of peace and stability. They will make you feel guilty to leave. This is done to you because they know without you they are not who they seem to be. Fear and guilt will be their weapon of choice so you do not leave them. This is not a healthy relationship. It is actually a form of abuse. 'The giver' usually feels trapped and confused at this point. The 'taking spirit' has found their victim and through crafty moves and guilt over time took the majority of the things you came into the relationship with. It is all by design once he/she was able to identify who you are -- 'the giver.' Before you know it, the most important thing you need to get out of a bad relationship has been taken too -- your strength. They know if they can keep strength from you moving forward, they can keep their new position of power over you.
If you are 'the giver' you are probably hearing a repetitive story of your life, unless you have given into good soil. Remember, the Bible says, in Luke 6:38, "Give and it shall be given unto you.." This is one of the most important things to a relationship. It also says in the bible in Matthew 13:8 to give into 'good soil' and you will receive a thirty, sixty, or hundredfold on your giving. If you are not giving into a person of good soil, you will continuously feel unfulfilled or empty in your relationships. Good soil should be your theme when looking for a mate. Ask yourself, is she or he good soil to pour my love, money, time, energy and all that I have into? This should make you think. The 'taking spirit' is not good soil. You will not get a return on your giving to this person.
Don't rush, time is valuable and you cannot get it back. Relationships are serious. You can get entangled badly in the wrong one if you do not do your due diligence. You may have already experienced a bad relationship in the past and know this, due to not getting to know the person better before you moved forward. Their should be more questions asked, and patience in moving forward to the next stage in friendships and serious relationships. If the person is meant to be a close friend or your future husband or wife, it will be worth the waiting process.
Learn your strengths and weaknesses, and make your decisions based upon them. You will grow, mature, and gain a life full of better relationships. Just like God designed you to have. Involve God more in your choices. Pray about the people you meet. Your life will be remarkably better if you do.
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