I was watching a TV sitcom from the 1960's the other day, and I was extremely impressed with how pervasive chivalry, manners, and self-respect was throughout the show. It made me smile, because of the respect everyone was giving to each other. It also made me sad because manners and respect are so rare now. As I paid attention to the standards of the 1960's with family and relationships, I started to realize how far America has come in its erosion of manners, chivalry, and respect in relationships. The distance society has drifted from its moral and ethical standards for themselves and each other has become cringe-worthy.
When you dive into relationships today -- at the core of them -- there is an absence of manners, high-standards, or respect that is supposed to be added or accompanied in them. The opposite has essentially become the case. The way couples and friends treat each other today when they have a disagreement is unthinkable and shameful. Abusive language, yelling, leaving for a night to go out with friends, cheating, kicking the other out, and much more. But, the same people that do these things to their mate want a healthy relationship. I don't get it. We have come to an age where people who go on simple dates mistreat each other because this toxic interaction has become so natural -- and a lot of times -- expected.
Today, relationships seem to be a place where two people pretend to be someone they are not, while spending most of their time and energy looking at other people on social media and wanting what the other person or couples have. Never making a real effort to build on what they have in front of them to make it healthy or a place that feels good.
What I have gained from my research in dating and relationships are people have become enamored with showing the world they are happy, but not feeding their relationships the nutrients they need. Dinners, gifts, vacations, parties -- rinse and repeat. All superifical things which have become the base of relationships because people want to show the world through social media -- they are so happy! Nothing wrong with showing where you are all the time, or what new gift you got on your birthday. It is just important you are happy within yourself and not doing things just to make your life seem wonderful when you are empty inside.
In the Bible it shares how a husband should love his wife. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." When a man will give his life for his wife, the other things will line up as well. Respecting her will be a main focus. Manners will be a main focus. Listening to her will be important. Disrespecting her and ridiculing her will not even be a thought. She will be cherished. I believe all of this comes together when you place God at the front of your relationship(s). When God is not at the root of your relationships or life, there will be an emptiness that you can't fill. It will never be filled until God has his place first.
If you want a healthy relationship, put God first with your mate and watch what happens. Then, no matter if you are man or woman, you will honor your mate and be forgiving to your mate. Not judgemental about their past, because you know that you have a past as well. Ephesians 5:28-29 shares, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loves himself." If you are looking for a husband, look for one that will love you as his own body. Someone who protects his wife. Is honest with his wife. Yes, this does still exist. You just have to believe God for it, and he will deliver him/her to you.
When you go out on a date, whether you are in a relationship, or a fresh date, have manners. Say "thank you" and "excuse me." Be appreciative of what the other person does. Be a good listener. It will go a long way. Be kind. Keep rules, and don't break them. And always do what Ephesians 4:26 says, "Let not the sun go down on your wrath." In other words -- do not go to sleep angry toward another person. You will feel so much better in the morning when you don't. Use the Bible. God knows what he is talking about.
Remember, you cannot achieve true success in anything without one-hundred percent commitment.
When you dive into relationships today -- at the core of them -- there is an absence of manners, high-standards, or respect that is supposed to be added or accompanied in them. The opposite has essentially become the case. The way couples and friends treat each other today when they have a disagreement is unthinkable and shameful. Abusive language, yelling, leaving for a night to go out with friends, cheating, kicking the other out, and much more. But, the same people that do these things to their mate want a healthy relationship. I don't get it. We have come to an age where people who go on simple dates mistreat each other because this toxic interaction has become so natural -- and a lot of times -- expected.
Today, relationships seem to be a place where two people pretend to be someone they are not, while spending most of their time and energy looking at other people on social media and wanting what the other person or couples have. Never making a real effort to build on what they have in front of them to make it healthy or a place that feels good.
What I have gained from my research in dating and relationships are people have become enamored with showing the world they are happy, but not feeding their relationships the nutrients they need. Dinners, gifts, vacations, parties -- rinse and repeat. All superifical things which have become the base of relationships because people want to show the world through social media -- they are so happy! Nothing wrong with showing where you are all the time, or what new gift you got on your birthday. It is just important you are happy within yourself and not doing things just to make your life seem wonderful when you are empty inside.
In the Bible it shares how a husband should love his wife. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." When a man will give his life for his wife, the other things will line up as well. Respecting her will be a main focus. Manners will be a main focus. Listening to her will be important. Disrespecting her and ridiculing her will not even be a thought. She will be cherished. I believe all of this comes together when you place God at the front of your relationship(s). When God is not at the root of your relationships or life, there will be an emptiness that you can't fill. It will never be filled until God has his place first.
If you want a healthy relationship, put God first with your mate and watch what happens. Then, no matter if you are man or woman, you will honor your mate and be forgiving to your mate. Not judgemental about their past, because you know that you have a past as well. Ephesians 5:28-29 shares, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loves himself." If you are looking for a husband, look for one that will love you as his own body. Someone who protects his wife. Is honest with his wife. Yes, this does still exist. You just have to believe God for it, and he will deliver him/her to you.
When you go out on a date, whether you are in a relationship, or a fresh date, have manners. Say "thank you" and "excuse me." Be appreciative of what the other person does. Be a good listener. It will go a long way. Be kind. Keep rules, and don't break them. And always do what Ephesians 4:26 says, "Let not the sun go down on your wrath." In other words -- do not go to sleep angry toward another person. You will feel so much better in the morning when you don't. Use the Bible. God knows what he is talking about.
Remember, you cannot achieve true success in anything without one-hundred percent commitment.
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